The Church, A Beacon of Hope
By: Allie R.
“I love this ministry because when I get asked by a single mom if we can help, I have an amazing community to point her towards.” — Josh Czufin, Life Groups Local Missions Pastor Life.Church (Colorado Springs)
I grew up in the church as a pastor's kid, and it was heavily ingrained in me always to do everything right. I was taught that my life would be blessed by the Lord if I was as close to perfect as possible. I was not allowed to listen to secular music, and eventually, not to Amy Grant's music either because she got divorced - one of the greatest sins of all time. So, I lived a very performance-oriented life and was highly anxious about being less than perfect. As a young adult, I followed purity culture to the letter of the law and married a Christian man with whom I had three beautiful children. But when my husband decided to walk away from the faith, our marriage began to crumble. After 17 years, my greatest fear came to fruition: he left me and the kids. How had this happened when I had always tried to do the right things? Broken and desperately needing love, I turned to the church. And while people still loved me, I was suddenly treated differently, as many didn't know what to do with a divorced, single mom.
Shortly after that, there was a flood in my home. When I asked the church for a handyman to help with repairs, I was told that since I was a single woman, a handyman could not help me unless his wife was present - but, alas, she could not find the time. I asked for additional help but was ignored and unseen. It felt as though a giant scarlet letter was painted across my forehead.
I entered into a dark faith crisis for a year, where I questioned whether God loved me or cared about my children. During this time, my good friends began the ministry of Not Alone and introduced me to the church they were attending. When I attended with them, I was shocked to be treated with welcome and dignity - even with my single mom status. I was further shocked when the campus pastor sometimes engaged me in meaningful conversation after church, as though my thoughts and opinions mattered. As Not Alone grew, a community of single moms developed around me, and suddenly, I didn't feel so alone anymore. Suddenly, the church was a place I could go to for hope and healing.
Since my divorce, I have dealt with debilitating post-separation abuse from my ex-husband and have been through several horrific experiences with my children. Through it all, the Not Alone community has been there for me. At times when I still waiver in my faith, they are the tether to keep me in community with the church as I work through my journey with the Lord.
