Many of us have either been in an abusive relationship, or know someone who has been. Typically an abuser is very charming, particularly early in a relationship, and they may gain our confidence and trust quickly. As we meet new people and get to know potential partners, how can we be sure we aren’t falling for a bad apple? How do we differentiate between the normal bouts of selfishness all humans have on their bad days, versus something emotionally destructive? Fortunately, most abusers put out warning signals before their abuse goes into full gear. We must be familiar with these signs and regularly scan for them.